Midhurst Footpath Companions
Walking in Sussex, Hampshire and Surrey.

News


Viewing posts from May, 2020

Snow White

Beware old geezers!

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Aaagh!! This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see anything!!!!" Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of the story: Just because you're ‘Young’ doesn't mean that you can outsmart an ‘old Geezer’!

Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.

ENJOY YOUR DAY !! P.S. Written in large print for old Geezers.

Always seek medical advice

Quiz photos No. 20

There's no real reason why anyone could quess where this is, but it does somehow look a bit familiar.

________________________________________________________________________

This is a replica, the original being replaced by the Tennyson Monument. Good place to light a fire?

______________________________________________________________________________

Answers to Photo Quiz No.19.

No surprise here , this is Denis, ready to go safely shopping

 Mary, resting in the churchyard of the 12/13th century St Lawrence Old Church

near Ventnor Isle of Wight. We had walked from the Ventnor Botanical Gardens on one of our

exploration days during our holiday week in 2019.

More puns

1. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

2. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

3. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

4. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

5. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

6. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

7. A backward poet writes inverse.

8. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

9. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

10. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.